self care

this week, self care looks like icing, elevating, and epsom salt soaking a sore hamstring, but more importantly, it looks like naming and examining the patterns i’ve internalized, and digging up the roots of those weeds so they stop causing harm. the self care looks like recognizing that a pattern i have is around feeling like i always have to prove myself, and prove my worth, and that i have to perform to please others, and that i need to do that to be exceptional. and that i have to be exceptional by these standards that someone else set. these standards that serve white supremacy, eurocentricity, heteropatriarchy, ableism, and extractive, manipulative capitalism.

this week’s self care is guided by change and freedom. recentering on the fact that the only lasting truth is change, as Octavia Butler wrote in the Earthseed verses. committing to the ongoing work of freeing myself from the toxic behaviors and beliefs that ever pervades the way we think about ourselves, one another, and the world of which we are just a part.

and now i work back towards greater balance. i commit to detangling myself from what i think i need to be in order to be worth it, or worth something, from the understanding that i am exactly where i need to be, and have nothing to prove. i commit to honoring and learning from the inner wisdom of my bodies of all subtleties, as i make my way back to myself.

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